To be Haise Sasaki
by Kazune807
Summary: Snippets of Haise's life as a Ghoul Investigator.


**A/N: Just a story about the everyday life of Haise Sasaki**

* * *

 **Chapter 1:**

"How are you today, Hinami?"

He smiles at her through the glass and she smiles back. Hinami, despite being imprisoned, found comfort in his presence. The very sight of him, the very sound, brought back memories that she had let slip away.

But here he was.

His eyes, his ever changing hair, and of course, the same person she knew back then, as she does now.

Her response was slow, but she does reply, her tone light and affectionate.

"I'm alright, the books you bring me help a lot."

Hinami watched as his eyes slipped into relaxation and comfort. She briefly thinks how he seems to enjoy her affection and she can't help the bubble of giddiness that pops within her chest.

They talk for a while.

He asks about life in Cochlea, and makes sure she's being treated right. She asks him questions and anticipates the answers Kaneki would give back.

She isn't disappointed.

He may go by Haise Sasaki, but inside, she knows he's there. She could see it when he asks her questions. Hinami could see that underneath the thin layer of interrogation, was the burning questions about the man known as Ken Kaneki. They held so much pressure, that it seeped into his body language and in the way his eyes begged her to just tell him something.

But he doesn't ask.

So she doesn't tell.

They don't talk about Aogiri or ghouls anymore. All that had been asked, had been answered on that matter. Instead, she suspects he comes to see her.

It isn't until he's leaving that she truly feels the weight of his absence. In the years that he'd been gone, Ayato had stepped into the shoes of where Kaneki once stood. And while it wasn't a perfect fit, it had been enough for her.

But now she knew.

Now, he was here. Right across from her. Standing up from his chair and bidding her a regretful goodbye. How she wished she could reach through the glass and hold him close.

Hold him close and make sure that this time he wouldn't slip away again. That as he left Cochlea today, he would promise to return soon. She could feel the itch in the small of her back as she envisioned embracing him with her Kagune.

"Goodbye Hinami, I'll be back soon."

He says this softly, almost painfully. Perhaps he wished to stay longer. She would have liked that a lot.

"Goodbye, Big Brother."

He tenses, his body halfway through the door frame, before following through, and sending her one last look.

Hinami doesn't quite know how to describe that look. All she knows is that she quite likes it. And so, she'll keep calling him what he is.

The metallic door slides shut and she's then escorted back to her cell. Visiting time was over.

Hinami doesn't think much of anything, the blur of Cochlea leaves her cold until she's tossed back into the confines of her cell. She slinks slowly onto her stiff bed and pulls her arms close to her chest.

Her legs fidget, and she plays with the neckline of her prison garb. Part of her wants to forget him, if only for a little, to relieve her of the longing. But another part, the majority, can't stop, and doesn't want to stop thinking about him.

She'd almost forgotten.

Feelings once felt, have a funny way of coming back. And as she thought of Ken Kaneki, of Haise Sasaki, she couldn't help but feel a rush of endearment and perhaps something, something she had denied so long ago.

It wasn't hard to remember. Her time in Aogiri almost seemed like a bad dream now. There was only the night before, and the morning now. The dream was fading, and all that was left was the coming day.

But as things seemed now, perhaps that day might never come. Her prospects in Cochlea weren't exactly promising.

And so here she was.

Alone.

Nothing but time and her thoughts. And at the moment, her thoughts were quite nostalgic. A memory surfaced, and she couldn't help but let them play out within her head.

She's fourteen again… and he's there… close and within arms reach…

Hinami smiles, despite everything that has happened. She smiles and thinks of her time with Ken Kaneki…

* * *

Haise, after taking the long trek upwards and out of Cochlea, stepped onto the busy streets of the 23rd ward. Taking one step forward, he came face to face with Akira Mado, mentor and friend, all in one.

"Oh! Hello Ak-"

"You sure spend a lot of time at Cochlea, Senior Investigator Haise Sasaki."

He isn't surprised at Akira's comment, nor her blunt interruption. He knew he'd been going to see Hinami too much. However, he was caught off guard by how formally she addressed him. Perhaps she didn't approve of his frequent visits.

Judging by her piercing stare, he'd wager that she definitely did not.

"I do, getting intel is key to being an investigator."

It was true, but perhaps not completely honest about what "intel" he was looking for. He'd been shying away from who he used to be, from the centipede that whispered in his ear late at night. But lately, he's been wanting to know.

Lately, _he's_ been having more control.

"Intel…"

Akira says the single word as she looks deep into his eyes. He suspects she knows the truth. She sighs and breaks off her stare.

"Intel… as long as that's all it is."

Akira strides forward, and before she passes, with a hand on his shoulder, she says her parting words of advice.

"Remember who _you_ are, Haise."

And then she's gone, her heels clicking behind him as she enters the ghoul prison. Haise can't help but shudder. Akira was right. He knew that.

And yet…

…

Haise let out a long sigh. He needed a cup of coffee.

* * *

"There you go, one black coffee."

The blue haired waitress sets down his caffeinated beverage, and gives him a winning smile like she always does. And like always, he can't help but smile back. Perhaps it was because she was pretty, perhaps it was something else entirely. Either way, there was something about her that left him feeling jittery.

"Thank you Miss Kirishima."

She nods a quick response and soon leaves to attend to other customers. Haise watched her a while longer before turning his eyes to the steaming black abyss nestled in a simple white coffee cup.

A smile fluttered across his lips once more as he thought of the blue haired waitress. She really did make the best coffee.

For the next fifteen minutes, he nursed his cup of coffee, taking slow sips as the stresses of life ebbed and flowed through him. He thought of his squad, of his family of Quinxes.

Urie, Shirazu, Tooru, and little Saiko…

He thought of Hinami Fueguchi, his… no… Ken Kaneki's little sister. He thought of her warm smiles and welcoming demeanor.

And of course…

Haise Sasaki thought about Ken Kaneki. Not the man that was missing, nor the big brother that had a little sister, not even the Ken Kaneki that was the merciless ghoul.

No.

Haise Sasaki thought of Ken Kaneki, the man that stared at him in the mirror and breathed the same air as he did. The one that existed in the same body.

That was… that is… that will be…

In the vestiges of his coffee cup came the dark reflection of himself, a red tint in his left eye. All he could do was stare back.

"Can I get anything else for you?"

Haise breaks free from his musings and looks up to regard Miss Kirishima. She stands table side, a hand on her hip as she gazes at him casually. Even in his turmoil, he could feel his lips curving slowly.

"No, I'm alright, thank you."

He stands up and pulls out payment to hand to her. He offers it, however, she pushes it away, a smirk on her lips.

"You looked a little down today… it's on the house."

Haise is speechless for a moment.

"Oh, that's very kind, but I insist."

He offers it once more. She merely laughs and walks away to the back room door. But before she leaves, she shoots him one last smile and calls out a beckoning farewell.

"Come back again."

She slips away, and Haise awkwardly stuffs the money back into his wallet, a smile of his own upon his features. That waitress, Miss Kirishima, always raised his spirits when he came in to visit.

Hmm…

Perhaps they could be friends. What a nice thought. His friend. Not Kaneki's, not circumstantial friendship. His… Haise Sasaki's friend.

He liked that thought very much.

Glancing outside, he caught the dim rays of sunlight ebbing away. He had to be getting back to the chateau. He'd taken a long enough detour as it is.

Before he left the coffee shop, he stopped a moment to stare at the back room door she had gone through.

"Thank you, Miss Kirishima."

And with that, Haise Sasaki left into the realm of Ghouls, Doves, and those caught in between.

* * *

 **A/N: Do let me know what you think, and if I should do more. Thanks for reading.**


End file.
